My Joy Amidst the Sadness :)

 Well, I've noticed when I'm stressed or sad, I tend to wallow my sorrow away by focusing on my kids.  Probably not good to project onto them while I need to grieve, but I guess it's good I am recognizing this and maybe also good that I'm blogging about it.  So, forgive me if this is waaay too many photos of one sweet 9 month old, but I just can't help myself.  My kids are my joy amidst my sadness :)  So, here's a "few" pics of my baby last Friday when he turned the big 3/4 of a year!  He started off his morning sorta solemn...his routine is to sit on our bed and play while I get ready.  He has cried a lot lately doing this.  I think it's almost like a tease that he can see mommy in the bathroom, but that I can't hold him :(

 He was super happy when I came and sat on the bed with him :)  Love that toothy, scrunched-nose smile :)

 We had music lessons...he likes the clarinet and the piano :)  Future Mozart?

 He had a wrestling match with his "man doll".  He won :)

 We soaked up some rays of sunlight...he loves being outside!

 Sweetness :)

 A penny for his thoughts...

 Off to meet Miss Jill at Starbucks while Ash is at preschool!  He seems pretty excited!

 Chatting with Miss Jill plum tuckered him out so we chilled for awhile on the SB couch once she left.  I love these mommy-son cuddles :)

 He sure can go through the gamut of faces :)

 Talking to mama...he loves to say mama and dada :)

 Getting into trouble...but acting very innocent :)

 Future dj?

 Almost standing

 very sleepy

 trying to nap...

 but instead it was time for the park...

 someone loves swinging!

 We made some friends...who are about the same age.  Isaac (middle) is Ashley's friend's brother and born right after Logan in Feb.  The other little boy was born in Nov. before him.  Aren't they all ruggedly handsome :)

 Big Sis took him for a ride down the slide...he was very tired at this point and not too happy :(

 Love this...check out Ash and her buddies...they are lining up about 100 acorns in a pattern.  Very cute.  I especially love that she is licking boogers from her nose...a Steg talent :)

 funny face :)

 Almost crawling, but not quite yet...soooo close!

 Handsome 9 monther!

 Funny 9 monther! (trying to take off his sticker tie :))

 My Lil' Blondie :)

 Ash is plum tuckered out from the playdate at the park :)

 A profile of my lil' guy...I know my Grandma Fergie would have loved this :)

 My little boy and his big blues :)

 Standing tall thanks to biggest sis :)

 goofy guy :)

 My boys...before my big one went off to camp!

 Sweet boy :)

 Trying a new food...sweet potato/apple oatmeal?  Not so sure about it...

 Sisters teasing him with slushies...

 Lovin' from sis Shelb :)

 Hays feeding him some sherbet...and laughing that he had old puffs stuck under his triple chin (a snack for later maybe?)

 Love this pic above...of Logan discovering fall...the first leaves had just come down at IU as we waited for Hailey at ballet...and he just sat there and watched it all...

 ...and played with the leaves...

 ...and smelled them and tried to eat them :)

 My two babies :)

 Hamming it up with Hays :)

 He "hearts" her so much!

 A manly moment in the pink tub :)

 Thirsty for a drink...

 Making a mess for mama to clean up off the floor, but having fun while doing it!...and below after a busy day...finally asleep (or is he?)...with the "sleep-with-my-eyes-open-Steg-trait" you never do know :)  Boys Rule!

So, it is a sad week...a sad weekend of saying goodbye to two patriarchs of our family (Kev is at one funeral in Ohio today).  Both these men in our lives will be missed, but I know their legacy will live on through our kids...and it's pictures like this that remind me of that and the goodness of the circle of life. 

Consumed

I am feeling like our heads are barely above water again...

Feeling all-consumed by emotions, by the funerals that loom ahead this weekend, by life...

I can't even collect my thoughts together enough to write much tonight...

Just hoping for a calm after this storm...a storm of ups and downs that I feel we've been caught up in for almost 2 years.  I guess I should be used to this cycle of life, but I am not.  I want more peace...our family needs it.  Praying it comes soon.

More Sadness

Well, the 2nd day in October comes with a second round of sadness.  The passing of another grandfather in Kevin's family.  My heart is heavy today knowing this sweet man, Grandpa Stegs, has gone on to heaven.  On one hand, I know he is in a better place with Jesus now, but on the otherhand, he truly was our Steg family's patriarch and will be missed. He raised 4 children of his own, had 10 grandkids, and 9 great-grandkids (and 2 on the way).  I think what I loved about him the most was his gentle nature. It's also something I see in Poppy Stegs and what I see in Kev...and what I see in my own son, Dylan.  I love that this peacefulness of spirit has been handed down among the Steg boys.  And I've been told our Logan looks like a mini version of his great grandpa.  I love that as well.  So I know even in Grandpa's absence on this earth,  his legacy will live on through his family.  He was a wonderful man, who raised a wonderful family.  He will always be remembered...and I will always be grateful to him for leading our Steg family and passing on his Christian witness to his offspring.  I didn't know when we saw him a few weeks ago at their home for their Grandparent's Day Talent show, that it would be our last time seeing him...our last time embracing him and telling him we loved him.  But, these pictures above is how I will remember him.  Just a wonderful man who left a great legacy in his family.  Love you, Grandpa Stegs.

Sadness

My heart is heavy yet again.  Kevin's Grandpa M. in Ohio passed away today.  It was not unexpected, but still sad to know a life has ended on this earth.  And also sad that it has been a few years since we have seen him.  He never met his newest great-grandson.  That makes me sad.  He raised a great daughter in my mother-in-law and for that I will be forever grateful....b/c she in turn raised a great son who turned out to be my wonderful husband.  It is a circle of life.  I am grateful to those before us, like this patriarch of one side of our family.  I didn't know him well, but the times I did meet and talk to him, I enjoyed.  He seemed to have a good sense of humor about him and he always spoke highly of our family.  He was even the one that told me last time I saw him when Ashley was a baby, "I think you need another boy to round out the family". He obviously was a wise man b/c I cannot imagine our lives without our final little man.  So, today, I mourn the loss of a great man, but I celebrate his life and the family he started that led to ours. 

I also lift up the Steg family in prayer as Kev's other grandpa is not doing well either.  This could be a very, very sad week for his family.

Weekend Recap...

 Trying to play catch-up as usual...so here are some "snaps" from this past weekend...of Logan and his proud mama on his 9 month "bday" :)  Isn't he the handsomest lil' 3/4-year-er :)  Love that boy.  Shelb took this pic at IU as we were waiting for Hays at ballet and getting eaten by mosquitos :) 

 The boys earlier in the week trying out our new tent in the driveway.  I can already picture them now camping when L is older.  He looks ready to go!

 The cubscouters ready to head out to a weekend of camping in Brown County.  I wish I had pics to post, but I think/hope Kev has some on his i-phone.  They had a ball camping overnight and doing all sorts of male-bonding.  I've never seen D so animated like he was when he came home on Saturday.  He shot a BB gun, a bow and arrow and made things blow up...nothing better than that for boys!  He now wants some sort of marshmallow bow and arrow?  No idea what that is, but I'm sure it's messy fun!

 The girls and I and Logan tried to go use Ashley's Cold Stone free bday coupon only to very sadly find out it had gone out of business (probably due to our new Orange Leaf...blah!).  We were so bummed.  We went to Jiffy Treat for slushies, but it wasn't the same :(

 Hailey spent half her Saturday at the Hoosiers Outrun Cancer walk with her ballet team. (yes, it was a brisk morning and as you can see I did not come prepared).  I thought I could just drop Hays off and pick her back up, so I had Logan in pj's, 1 back-up diaper, no food, no water and both the younger girls had sundresses on.  They were not happy with me when we found out we had to wait at the stadium for 2 hours :(

 Hailey's ballet team...walking in honor of her teacher/director's mother...these girls are like family to each other. Go Team Doricha!

 I didn't even bring Logan a blanket so we had to use Hailey's shirt for him to cuddle with.  I'm such a good mom, aren't I? :)

 Can you spot Hailey...ignoring me....while walking over the finish line...

 Doricha giving a wonderful speech/toast to her team afterwards!  Love this lady and what she does for these kiddos. She's quite a mentor.

 It was our first time at the IU football stadium. Sad that we've lived here 12 years and never been.  Hailey has been to a game, but none of the rest of us has.  We were checking out the stadium.  Not too shabby :)

 Proof that Hailey made it through her first race :)  Go, Hays!

And now a new week is upon us.  Today was our first "school delay" of the school year...due to fog.  I didn't really see much fog, but it was nice to sleep a little longer.  Not too crazy about the school calling at 5:30am though.  Logan took his first spin in the grocery cart today (w/o his car seat)...I knew there was a reason I had been waiting on this.  He tried grabbing everything off the shelves at the store.  He's mommy little "helper" :)  He made it up to me by blowing his first kiss to me :)  Not sure he meant to do this, but I'm saying he did.  I just love this little boy who is growing up so fast.  More later...tis time for the Stegs to start getting ready for bed...and I've been asked to find a photo of my oldest girl so she can be in her first local magazine article.  No idea what this entails, but we'll find out more tomorrow :)