Memorial Day Memories...

This is the joy I will always remember in my grandma's face...the joy she found in my children...in our whole family....this is the last time I saw her...I still remember her coming in her back room while I was nursing Dylan and saying something to me...I don't remember the words she used, but I think I knew she was saying goodbye...I love you, Grandma.
This is Memorial Day last year at the park where we were when my mom called...grandma would have wanted the smiles to go on so I tried to do that in her honor :)
Memorial Day this year....our sweet Shelby girl all smiles playing outside! Our sweet Dylan on "Race Day" (Sunday)...vroom, vroom little guy! And Daddy Kev and his "babies" on Memorial Day :)

Well, today marks the date that one year ago my wonderful and sweet grandma passed away. I still remember that heart-wrenching phonecall. It was Memorial Day and our little family of five was playing joyfully in a little park by our house when Kev's cell phone rang. It's not unusual for my mom to call us on a holiday (or every day :))...so I didn't think much of it. But, by the look on Kev's face as he talked to her briefly I could tell something was very wrong. At that point in time my grandpa G was in the hospital fighting his leukemia so I actually assumed it was news about him. But, through tears of sadness my mom broke the news to me that it was my grandma who had suddenly passed away that fateful morning. I was so very, very sad....I still remember almost dropping the phone in the park and not even knowing what to feel. I knew she was at peace now (which she had not been for some time on this earth as she battled Alzheimer's and other ailments as she was shuffled from home to hospital to rehab)...so my heart was happy for the peace she was now feeling in her new home in heaven...but at the same time I was selfishly beside myself with grief that I would never hear her beautiful happy voice on the other end of my phone or watch her enjoy my kids in the park or just enjoy her wonderful conversations. She was a lady like no other...she touched my life and the life of my family like no other....she loved and cared so very much...and a piece her I carry in my heart every day. Yesterday and today have been a bit hard for me. Not because I want her back here on earth...because I know how much she was suffering in the end...but because I just miss her presence in my life. But, I know we will be reunited one day and I know she is sitting up in heaven now with my grandpa by her side gazing down on me and keeping watch over my family. This brings me peace every day.

Every Memorial Day will bring back memories of that day a year ago where I lost a grandmother...a wonderful light in my life....

I actually tried to just go about my life today like it was an ordinary day...and I was doing pretty good too. I woke up thinking about my grandma and all the memories we had and all the happy times....I traveled to Indianpolis to get Dylan and Shelby's pictures taken...I was still doing good just going about my ordinary day. And then it happened...out of the blue a lady who looked just like my grandma...who even walked/shuffled along just like her...almost bumped right into me at Penney's...I just about lost it...I jumped on the elevator to compose myself and hold back the tears...it was very eery...to have that happen on the anniversay of her death. Still I get chills thinking about it. But, it reminded me yet again how I know she is watching over me....

So, it's been a happy/sad day...I know my mom can attest to that as she too has been going through those emotions as she goes through my grandparents cards/paperwork and dearest treasures. It's never an easy road losing a loved one....the grief comes in waves and it's always hard on days like today. I know I'm not the only one struggling with loss....and I know many of you can relate...

I just wanted to post what was on my heart today....if the past year has taught me anything it's that life on this earth is brief and we need to treasure every breath of it, don't sweat the small stuff and cling tightly to our loved ones...tell them you love them every day! That's all for today, folks...I'm beat and I'm fighting a stomach bug and simply exhausted from a day of shopping/picture taking. I'll post more later in the week about our weekend adventures, about Shelby's new facial makeover (it'll make you cringe :)) and about Hailey's last day of 1st grade (tomorrow!) :) Love ya'll! And special hugs to my mom and dad today...I think they can use the extra lovin'! :)