1/2 a year and other stuff...

Ok, I'm a basket case today...let's just put that out there before I start blabbering :)

I am not sure if it has anything to do with the day (my baby somehow has been on this earth 6 months and I feel like I blinked and his newborn baby days were gone :()...or maybe it's the fact that I'm coming down off three awesome vacations (yes, even NYC and its stresses are looking better to me than the realities of life)...or maybe it's that I see the writing on the wall as far as cleaning up this clutterbox and getting it ready to sell (i' just ain't gonna happen unless I ship the kids off somewhere and vow to not leave the house...which ain't gonna happen now that Logan has PT once a week and Ash has speech 3x per week on top of just the regular busyness of seeing friends, etc...all good things, mind you, but time taker-uppers just the same)  And maybe just all this is seeming extra overhwelming b/c I am sad my baby is growing up so quickly before my eyes...or maybe I just miss my oldest girl and not having my family all together in the house at night...who knows.  I am just not able to focus on anything since I've gotten home.  At any rate, I just wish I could snap my hands and have an extra 24 hours in the day...or maybe even better, snap them and have this house cleaned up. I know that type of stuff is so not important in the everyday realm of life, but I really had such high hopes for this summer and getting our home back in order b/c honestly it's gotten soooo bad that I can't really function well.  Once I gather enough confidence I will truly have to take photos of it and post them. I want to be held accountable to never let it get this bad again....but I have had to put my family first and these last 12 months have been rough...probably rougher than I have let on....and the house and organization have had to go by the wayside...

All this to say that I am sorry the blog might seem like a bit of a downer lately.  I guess it goes to show that I am only human and lots of things get me down.  But, I am really trying to keep it in perspective....

I have this beautiful baby boy who a year ago I didn't even know if I'd meet and kiss his sweet face.  And here he is laying on my shoulder just perfect in every way.  He spent his 1/2 bday just like any other day.  Going to and fro mostly to his sibling's activities.  He did start out the day celebrating at the peds off where we discovered he is a whopping 19lbs, 14oz!  Ouch!  No wonder he was breaking my back in his Bjorn in NYC!  That's one big boy!  And he did not love the gift of shots this morning, but he put on a brave face for his siblings who were very worried watching him :)  We did pull off a sweet little half bday party for him tonight...though we were bummed daddy had to work all night and of course Hailey missed out (though she did call during it and talked to the half b-day boy :)).  The funny/sad thing about the party is that he loved both his cakes so much that he tried to touch one of them and got fondant all over his hands and it was so sticky he couldn't get it off and he went bonkers and that was the end of that.  He tore half the cake apart trying to get the fondant off his hand.  I think he may be like his brother before him and like to touch things, but not like to be dirty!  Poor kid!  But, it was sweet how his sibs doted on him all day.  At one point I could hear Shelby and Ash upstairs doing something and when I finally went up with Logan they surprised him with balloons, recycled gifts and a lego cake.  It was cute and made my heart full to see how much a little brother can be loved.  He is never lacking for that!

So, yes, I am feeling stressed....feeling the stress of being pulled in a million different directions.  I have always been pulled in thousands of directions, but with 5 kids it has just added to the "pullage".  I hate feeling so scatterbrained and not ever getting anything fully accomplished.  Lately I've been adding "take a shower" to my to-do list just so I feel I have accomplished something in a day.  Today I haven't even checked that off my list.  Ah well.  Someday I hope to read this in my rocker and think "gosh, I miss those days".  Right now I just hope I make it to those days! lol :)  Don't be too jealous of my life :)