I prayed for this...

I've been doing a lot of thinking and praying in the "peaceful" hours lately of sickness and snow :)

And maybe I've been dwelling more on this subject b/c my Hays is almost 14.

I know I must seem overwhelmed and stressed most days.  And there is no doubt I am worn.  But, I've had this "ah-ha" moment lately as I reflect on 12 years ago and how far our family has come in that time.  A dozen years ago I prayed for the life I have now. I didn't necessarily pray for 5 children and the crazy rat race we lead, but I prayed long and hard for a child...another child...a second child.  It was just Kevin and I and Hailey back in 2002.  We had just moved to Indiana to be near family...it was perfect timing.  We were just starting to get our footing in Bloomington after living in Danville for awhile with Kev's parents.  Kev had found a job in downtown Bloomy, that company closed shortly after, and he lost the job, and then he found another.  I was working full-time in Indianapolis as an RN in the Riley NICU.  Making that stinky long drive with long 12 hour evening shifts.  Sweet Hailey was our pride and joy.  She wanted a sibling so desperately and we were waiting for the right time when we had insurance and were more stable. We lived in a very humble apartment (only 5 mins from where we live now).  Those were hard days I am sure, but I remember them well and remember them being so simple, yet joyful.  I don't think we ever worried or lost faith.  Hailey was such a sweet kid. So easy going and loved to play by herself...we had a living room full of Little People and she just played all day.  Finally Kev found his current job.  We felt the timing was right to start a family.  We found our current house in May of 2002 and hoped to bring another baby into our family once we moved.  Days and months went by...finally a year.  We were still a family of three.  I prayed and begged God for one little miracle.  I still remember Hailey's first day of preschool and taking that pregnancy test (it had been one of many in the course of those 18 months).  There was no reason to even think I really was pregnant, but I never lost hope even in my greatest despair.  Turns out our biggest prayer was reality and 8 months later our Shelby was born....20 months after that our Dylan was born....2 1/2 years later our Ash was born...and then almost 4 years later our Logan was born.  It honestly seems like it happened just like that.  Had you asked me back in 2002 if I'd be a mom of 5 in 2014, I would have probably laughed in your face. I am quite certain I never thought I'd have 5 kids.  I am not sure how many I thought I'd have...maybe 3?  Kev thought 2 I am sure.  I guess God added those two numbers together and gave us what we have! haha :)  But, I love how God's plans unfold so differently from our own.  Now here I am wallowing in the craziness.  It is not easy.  The reality of 5 children is a lot of hard work, a lot of exhaustion...I'm not sure why there are days I think it should be easy?  And honestly these 5 are teaching more more about myself lately that I am probably teaching them. God planned this I am sure!  One thing I do need to do more of is thank him daily for answering my prayers...and answering them more bountifully than I could have ever imagined.  Not a day goes by where I can't imagine my life without my Hailey, Shelby, Dylan, Ashley and Logan.  I feel so humbled and grateful that they are my blessings.  I need to remember that the feelings of craziness and busyness that come along with them are all part of God's plan for our life.  And I think I need to continue to remind myself of how great a blessing this craziness is, especially in the moments where I feel dizzy from the busyness :)  I love looking back on old prayers and seeing how God has answered them in His own time and His own way...