Discontent

We are struggling today with discontent. 

A child who just isn't content with what he/she has.

I wonder how other parents deal with this.

One such child in our fam comes home from a sleepover and wants a whole new room just like her friend.  She's determined to move into our basement room.  Daddy drives a hard bargain and says she may do this if she cleans up the basement.  I can't say that's a bad deal on our end. (you should see our basement right now...worst it's every been...kitties can't even walk through it :)). 

Then she wants to make all sorts of craft things like her friend had in her room.  She cannot wait...she wants to do this immediately.  She spent part of her afternoon doing this.  Then tonight at Hailey's chili school auction she wants some Paris body sprays along with a nail gift certificate...we bid on them, but refuse to go above a certain number. She is mad.  She has an attitude.  She makes us all grumpy :(

How do you deal with a child who never seems satisfied with what they have?  My thought is we need to do a mission project so she can see how little most people have in this world, especially those in third world countries.

I tire of trying to teach contentment.  I know as humans we all struggle with this in some way, but I want to teach my kiddos how to appreciate what they have and not yearn for more.  Any suggestions?  I'm worn out from giving "be content" speeches today :( 

A Mama's Weight

No, this isn't a post about actual/physical poundage.  Though that would be a "fun" post, wouldn't it?!

It's about emotional "weight".

I am struggling with this today...heck, I probably struggle with it more days that I'm willing to admit.

I take on the baggage of my kids.

No, I'm not saying my kids are baggage themselves, but that when they carry emotional baggage, I am the mama that wants to fix it or fight to make it better.

Today is one of those days.  I go to lunch and my middle girl is basically sitting by herself.  The one thing that did make me smile is that her best guy friend decided to sit with her.  So it was the two of them at a table alone.  I knew right away drama had occurred and I wasn't surprised. We had some "friend" lying issues lately and it was only a matter of time before two strong willed little girls had it out.  Today was the day, I guess.  I tried to be upbeat and tried not to dwell on the stinky fact that with girls comes drama (usually).  We have gone through this all before, especially late year with Shelb.  But, it just breaks my heart when things like this happen...and especially breaks my heart when my poor girl got stuck in a class w/o almost all her friends so if this one friend isn't on the good side, she has no others to turn to.  It was my fear at the beginning of the year.  I hate it when fears are realized :(  I trust this will all work itself out no matter what the outcome...but I still hate to see my girl not happy.  But, I am so grateful to our sweet neighbor friend who sat with her today so she wouldn't be alone.  And also soooo grateful her best friend from last year just texted to invite her over for a sleepover.  Saving grace!  Other friends are definitely coming to the rescue when mama can't really do anything but tell her to "be a good friend" in spite of what others might doing to her.  I don't like it when my mommy-heart is heavy :(

Here's to hoping this weekend will be a good distraction from school "stuff"! 

**Update**The friend issue is apparently resolved...only 1.5hrs later :) lol!  Girls crack me up. Apparently they decided they missed each other too much to be mad at each other.  Very mature, I think :)  So, life is good and if my girl's happy so is this mama :)  And hurray for our first Friday off in a long time!

The Monthly Steg News :)

Well, I've been meaning to do this kinda thing for awhile...a monthly news update...but time seems to fly by and my mommy mind is mush and it never happens.  From now on, I'll probably do it at the end of the month with more pics, but given this month has Halloween on the last day, I know I won't have time that day. So, here it goes...

My Hays...doing fabulously.  The big 8th grade/middle schooler.  She actually participated in her school's spirit week last week. I think last year she opted out.  She's not been too thrilled about middle school really...she can't plug in much there (no sports) due to her rigorous ballet sched. and these last 2 years of school are sort of the "in between" before she can move on to high school next year. I'm in no rush for her to be there, but I think she would have skipped mid. sch. all together if she had the choice.  She's doing amazing in school and all her ALPS (accelerated classes).  She's got a pretty heavy/stinky schedule this year so between ballet and homework, she has very little open minutes.  She is gearing up for her school's tv (BTV) chili supper this weekend (she's a producer so she's pretty involved with this)...so that will be consuming a lot of our Saturday with helping/eating :)  She's a volunteer in our church toddler nursery now and a part of a teen core group at church.  Seriously, the girl is BUSY and I have no idea how she keeps up with everything.  She had a second round of interviewing for the ballet article she is doing for "812" magazine.  Not sure if this will be published (it's a student project/competition), but it will be online and I'll post it when it's there in January hopefully. 

She still spends 5 evenings a week dancing and starting next week she'd do evenmoreso with Nutcracker Trepak (Russian) rehearsals starting up.  Yes, this is our crazy time of year!  Love watching her grace and beauty as a dancer. (even dancing in the dark like she was this day).  So proud of our 13 year old and can't wait to see where God leads her in the coming years...

Our middle girl, Shelb...she's my full-of-spunk, wanna be movie star, loves beautifying herself, wearing big bows and fancy clothes...and anything Parisian/Audrey Hepburn.  I'll let you guess what she'll be for Halloween :)  She seriously is our "all girl" girl :)  She'd curl her hair, wear skirts and dresses and heels every day if we'd let her.  Her latest thing is spas...she's enthralled by them and set up one in her room this past weekend complete with her own homemade perfume and a foot spa with rose petals in it.  Maybe she really will be a future beautician?  She keeps us on our toes and I just love her with all my heart!

Shelb is doing super-awesome in 4th grade and even though I was worried about how the school year would go b/c she was separated from most friends, she seems to do her best being optimistic about things.  Though we have had some "friend" lying issues. That's been frustrating :(  She is doing FABULOUSLY at violin...her teacher says she has great tone.  I agree.  She's made great progress and has a big Halloween concert coming up next weekend.  So proud of how hard she works in all she does.  She is a lot like her mama though and craves down time...of which she gets very little and finds herself frustrated (sound familiar?) :(  She has violin 3 nights a week and girl scouts on top of that.  Two weeks ago she spent the weekend Slumbering at the Indy Speedway for GS.  Cool!  She might "star" in Hailey's school BTV movie-Frankenstein as "young Elizabeth".

My animated oldest boy...love him.  He cracks me up lately. He truly is very comical...at school and on the football field (as seen by this crazy rain-drenched pics).  He LOVES life.  I love that most about him. If I am ever feeling down, I just have to look out our window at 4:15pm and watch him get off the bus...he is either skipping or running down the block with a big smile on his face!  He just loves school (2nd gr)  and does amazing.  He is waaaay above average for math...and he loves numbers.  That always impresses me b/c I am not that way.  And he loves his flag football, especially those flags (which as you can see he keeps a close eye/hand on at all times!).  I am so glad we tried this sport...it might just replace soccer from now on (though he is moving onto indoor soccer soon...can't do basketball due to cub scout conflicts)

The boy in action...he is the KING of getting flags off opponents.  No joke...he is probably the best at it on his team!  He is a super kid...goofy, yes...but very smart and so sweet.  He's has flag football twice a week now on top of cub scouts. He's a big ol' wolf this year and just got done selling popcorn...phew...glad that's done!  He (and daddy) worked really hard selling this year!  Daddy is also one of his co-leaders.  Go daddy!

My Ash...my smiley-always happy, Ash.  Love this girl. She's my daily companion at home and I am gonna miss her dearly next year as she moves to Kindergarten :(  I can't believe how fast 5 years went by.  She is a super smartie too and probably the most social in her preschool class.  We get glowing reports from her teachers and friends' moms saying she is friendly to all.  I love this about her. She really is a very caring little girl and she watches out for her friends.  She is loving her lil' dance class once a week (on Tuesdays) and it's been lovely having our Saturday mornings more open.  She has really taken a liking to tap.  Both her sisters never liked it, so we'll see what this leads to.  Right now she's caught up in cheerleading so that might be her next move.  Lord help me. I am so not a cheer-mom, but I might become one of Ash is my cheer-girl :)

She just graduated speech at IU.  She has not yet conquered all her letter sounds, but she's made amazing progress in just a couple months. She went from not being able to say 9 sounds, to 4 sounds (mostly K and G...so we still are sweetly saying "Nina Ditter" and "Hello Titty" :)).  We are now trying to get her into the school system speech program.  We'll see what they recommend.  I am so proud of her though. Her teacher at IU said she rarely sees kids work this hard and make this much progress so fast....she says Ash is super smart and very aware of what she is doing. She might even conquer her speech issues all on her own. 

My lil' L.  Melts my heart every single day.  Love him so much!  He is his mama's boy.  Loves his mama so much.  He is now a man in motion.  I will be honest...this is exhausting.  Yesterday alone he got out all the DVDs (about 25 that he could reach)...and he did this twice. Not only did he get them out of the cabinet, but he got them out of the cases and chewed on half of them.  Then when that grew old, he went to the tupperware cabinet and got 100 pieces out and chewed on them all. Not normally bad, but he has his first icky cold and this means if I don't wash everything, we might all have our first 2013 colds.  Fun.  So he has conquered making life busier :)  He is no longer interested in his own toys and can get to anything he wants in no time flat.  He might be our best crawler yet and that mixed with his trouble maker ways might make the Steg house a tad bit more interesting/exhausting :)  I do have to say that I LOVE that when I call him now he can crawl over into my arms.  It's so sweet.

He is a super eater too. We have not yet given him any table food just b/c I am fearful of allergies, but I know he'd eat anything.  He eats whatever we drop on the floor (like a dog?) and love all baby foods and his puffs :)  He loves to wave and chat and be a busy boy :)  He had a PT consult today regarding his mis-shapen/flat head.  He is still measure 13mm difference from left to right side. I've been told this is very minor, but it's noticeable to us.  He will have a "head consult" in December to determine if he needs a helmet. I pray with all my heart he does not.  I am not sure I can take 6 months of 23hrs-a-day helmet wearing. He will hate it and I will hate it.  Please pray his head evens out.  The PT said that she really thinks his case is minor b/c you can't see the mis-shape from the front. I think he's the cutest boy ever...no matter what odd shape his head is :)  Still going back and forth on his Halloween costume.  I think I might make one...which I know is crazy.

So, that's the down-low on the kiddos.  Kev and I are honestly going nuts around here and never have any down time or time with each other.  You have no idea the chaos of our lives, which has spilled over into our home.  The house is a constant mess. I am in-between cleaning up Ashley's bday stuff still and halfway getting out Halloween stuff.  I can't seem to get my act together or get anything done.  Laundry is never caught up, dishes aren't either.  I can't seem to get a good night's sleep no matter how many hours I get and I walk around in a daze most days.  Logan still gets up at least once a night and he loves to still nurse every 3 hours.  I grow sad thinking he will soon be 10 months old, which means he'll soon be ONE :(  With the holidays almost upon us I know time will go by even faster.  I love this time of year though...I am loving the changing leaves and the cooler weather.  The kids laugh at me, but if there is a beautiful tree on my way home, I stop and take a pic.  I love autumn!  We had our fall break last week for school...first time having 4 days off in Oct as we move to yearly schooling (blah!).  I'd like to say it was relaxing, but we filled it with stuff and b/c IU operates on a different fall break (this week) we had no change in activities and thus had a full weekend of violin and ballet (and football).  I spent entirely too much time shopping too (I loathe shopping lately)...trying to get us outfits for our fall pics at our Winery.  One good thing is that I already have our Christmas outfits.  At least I am getting started early on one thing :)  This weekend I hope we finally make it to a pumpkin patch/orchard. I love doing that sort of thing but I think we missed our good-weather days!  I do admit, I look forward to November.  I think things will slow down a tad bit then for me....maybe :)  Until our next update....happy fall! 

1st Haircut!

 Just a lil' post about a lil' haircut today.  I finally had to break down and take some lovely locks off my sweet lil' man's head a couple weeks ago (Oct 2). He was having his 9 month pics taken and for quite some time his daddy had made it known he had some long tufts of his blond "do" that were making him look a wee bit too girly :(  So as much as I didn't want to make the "cut"...it had to happen...here he is sporting his "before" look...

This is what he thought about the impending hair loss :(

...he was not afraid to voice his concerns :)

His hammer gave him some moral support and could also double as a weapon in case the barber made some wrong moves :)

So glad we "hired" this videographer...I think you can tell who she likes video of :)

Mommy makes the first cut...

Proof of the lil' blonde locks no longer on the babe's head :(  I think there may be mama tears next to it?!

The hammer disappeared so he considers using the comb as a weapon.

Instead it becomes a snack of "freshly cut hair on a comb"...yumm!

Boy, that barber is serious about her job!  Don't cross her!

And just like that...the job was done...a few snips here, a few cuts there...no big deal!  And look at what a handsome boy we have with his new lil' man "do"!


But, of course, we couldn't let a good thing "be".  Our Parisian Beautician had to work her magic on the lil' man...

...and give him a special "very manly" mohawk :)....boy, that tired barber could use a new "do" too...I think that haircut took it out of her...she looks exhausted!

He actually sorta liked the floof on his head :)

The Mama Barber and her handsome guy :)

So angelic...if the world only knew how troublesome he was :)

And above is what he thought of his finished product :)

Just one more lil' milestone in our lil' boy's life.  Just one more realization that he is growing up waaaay too fast! :(  But, I just adore every moment with this growing guy.  There is nothing like experiencing life through that of a baby's eyes...even on simple things like first haircuts

(sorry this is being reposted...for some reason my typing got deleted over the last week...ugh...blogger is frustrating to me sometimes and obviously thinks I have more time that I really do!).

Just Because Pics :)

 A few cute pics from the last couple weeks...as usual, no rhyme or reason to them...
Hays and Log at D's "rainy" football game before the clouds opened up :) They are dressed up b/c we headed to Gpa Stegs funeral right from here.  Lil' Man loves his Biggest Sis :)

 He also loves his Big Bro...who is like a lil' kid at heart...and helps teach him lots of things...like crawling :)

 Logan's first time out of the baby seat in the grocery store...using Big Sis, Ashley's old cart cover....it doesn't look too girly does it?

 He had a little too much freedom/fun...

 We started eating healthier snacks after school...smoothies.  Sort of an expensive snack, but the girls liked it.  Shelb helped make them  :)

 D didn't actually drink any of his. He thought it'd be more like a milkshake and he can smell "healthy" a mile away...

 Hays and I going off to the fall ballet at IU :)

And my littlest man right before he learned to crawl last week...this was him as he scooted backwards...I see "trouble" in those big blue eyes :)

Now I'm really off to bed :)  After little guy being up from about 2-4am (and taking a drive around the city in the van for sleep!), I think we deserve some sleep tonight!

"Do-aholic"

My Sweet Friend, Amanda, (in MI) who knows me so well (even though we haven't seen each other since my wedding?)...well, she's a mama of 5 too and understands my heart and probably my crazy mind as well...and she sent this to me on facebook.  I love it so much I am posting it.  It's not my own words...but the thoughts are right on with my own.  I am a "do-aholic" for whatever reason...I am getting better at saying "no", but the guilt still plagues me. It's a process I'm working on....and maybe others out there need to know they are not alone in this struggle. :)  I know one thing for sure.  I long for "free margins" and maybe even a "free piece of notebook paper" in my own life.  I want to just "be" instead of "do".  I bet I'd be a better person/mom/wife/friend if I could do this for myself....if I could rest.  I need to strive for this.  My first step is going to be tonight at 9pm.  I had to put it on the calendar so I would do it! And I need to follow through.
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When we were in high school we used to pass notes in class. Remember those? That was well before texting took over.
Sometimes we made it interesting by doing origami-stunts with our notes, writing in the backs of novels we traded back and forth, or once in awhile, we made it our goal to fill in every white space on a piece of notebook paper. We’d write from top to bottom, all the way left to right ignoring the red vertical line down the side of the page. We’d write around the three holes punched and we’d fill it all in with our fifteen-year-old thoughts.
I always think about these notes when I begin to feel like I’m over-committed. I feel like my life (a little like it is right now) is like that side-to-side notebook paper. I’ve filled in all available spaces with things to do, things to write and things to complete.
The fact is that everyone needs clear, free margins in their lives. My problem is that I’m a work-at-home mother, and so there are no clear boundaries between work and rest or between responsibility and play. I gladly fill in all my margins with stuff and when I run out of room, I try to cram more stuff in.
School volunteering, driving for the field trips, volunteering for the potluck at church, organizing the fundraiser, exercising, leading a table at the mom’s group, helping drive carpool, writing blog posts for other people’s blogs, and not to mention, doing the work that we do have that really does pay money. Fill in your own blanks; many of us over-commit ourselves.
When we fill in our margins, we have no time to relax, to think, to be creative or to dream. All we do is DO and we don’t have any time to BE. And we certainly don’t have any time to just rest.
Here are five questions to ask yourself to begin to evaluate if you are over-committed. Chances are, if you are obligated to too much, you already know it.
1.    Do I have any time built in to my life to rest?
Ask yourself, do I have any weekly or daily time built into my schedule to break away from commitments and let my brain, body and heart rest? Is my life so filled in that there is no time for that at all?
2.    When I am resting am I thinking about other things?
Sometimes when I’m taking a break my mind is racing about all the things I have to do when I’m done “resting.” My nap is interrupted by my own brain. When I can’t really take a break and be present in my Sabbath, I know I’m doing too much.
3.    Do I have trouble saying “no” when someone asks me to do that one extra thing?
Sometimes we are women who can’t say “no.” And if we are people-pleasers then it’s even worse for us. We don’t like to disappoint others and say “no.” If you are a “yes” girl, you might be doing too much.
4.    Does being a part of things make me feel valuable?
This is me. When someone asks me to do something or when I see a need, sometimes the basest part of me wants to be a part just so I can feel valued. It makes me feel better when I’m on leadership for something or I have access to All The Things because I was at the meeting.
5.    Do I know myself well enough to make accurate evaluations about my time?
I admit, I struggle here. I want to help and do and be a part so much that I think, “I can do this. I have time.” But I really don’t. At times it takes my husband or my kids to notice that I’m too busy because I don’t have an accurate gauge myself.
If you do find yourself in a place of over-commitment, first think about beginning to practice the word “No” to any new commitments. Then evaluate what you have said “yes” to and see if there is anything you can gracefully and humbly step away from. Consider your emotional and spiritual health in this and prayerfully consider if there are any other people that can step up and fill the void you might be leaving.
Keep white space in your life. Keep your margins clear if you can. And by all means, try to schedule in time for Sabbath.

What about you? Are you over-committed? Do you have trouble saying no?http://www.incourage.me/2013/10/over-committed.html

Poor Boy! :)

Just for the record...sometimes we have a little too much fun at our baby boy's expense :)  Sometimes we wonder what he would have looked like had he been a girl...ok, not really....we LOVE that he's our little guy, but having 3 older sisters comes with a price...the price of "let's see what fun we can have with our brother"...and in this case...it's making him look a tad bit girly sometimes :)  We did this last Sunday at Ashley's princess party at Nina and Poppy Stegs.  I think he's giving us a princess wave there, don't you think?

And trying on Halloween costumes...maybe a ballerina Yoda??

Getting his first haircut a couple weeks ago....we had to see what kind of girly "do" we could make with his long locks :)

And some oldy, but goody pics back on 4/1...April Fool's Day when he was only 3 months old.  Why not dress him up in Ashley's old clothes as a prank :)  Kinda cute, huh?!

Ok, sorry buddy...you truly are the handsomest little baby we know...and I promise all this girliness won't do anything, but make you a very sensitive husband someday and a great daddy to some little girls :)  Love you, Little Man!